8 Random Facts About Me

Friends, I promise this was not my idea--genreally speaking, I like me, but I'm not narcissistic enough to think that your most burning desire today is to find out all about me. I just want to clear that up right away, before my tendency to ramble incessantly makes you think otherwise! April, a lovely friend of mine from High School, "tagged" me: "I'm tagging you -- you need to post 8 random facts about yourself on your blog. I have a feeling you've done this before?" What's that all about, April? Sort of a bloggy truth or dare?

Well, I've never been tagged before, so I don't know precisely how it works--do I tag April back with a different question? Do I keep the same question and tag another blogger? Or two? If I don't, will something bad happen to me? Can I make up my own question to ask and then tag anyone I want? And do THEY have to respond? This tagging phenomenon could be interesting...

So now for the facts. Which will probably not be interesting to anyone but my mother, and even then...

1) I pretend to be someone who genuinely enjoys food of all types. I would have you believe that I am an adventuresome type of eater, but in fact, I am not. Here are some of the things I have an aversion to, most of which make the "Most Favorite Things Ever" lists of other people:
Coffee
Milk (mostly because it makes me dreadfully ill)
Peanut Butter
The Chocolate/Peanut Butter combo
Chocolate (just kidding about that one)
Anything that used to live in water--lobster, shrimp, fish sticks... (I do enjoy the occasional tuna sandwich, but it has to be made by me)
Sweet potatoes
Pumpkin Pie
...the list goes on. But I promised I'd try to make this at least a little bit interesting, so I'll stop there.

2)My earliest career ambition was to be a fighter pilot in the Air Force. But when I was about 9, someone told me that women couldn't become fighter pilots, so I gave up the dream. Though I suppose the fact that, by age 17, I couldn't read the alarm clock next to me without corrective lenses might have also helped the USAF make their decision on that one.

3)I am really not all that creative. If I had a nickel for every time someone told me I was, I'd almost have enough to buy that pair of flip-flops I've been coveting (because let's be honest, nickels don't go very far). But the truth is, I am a faker through and through. Just ask my kids, who have been known to fall asleep out of sheer boredom whilst playing with me. I like to surround myself with creative and funny people so that when we're in a crowd, I can witness their creativity and wit and pretend they just beat me to the punch.

4)One of my all-time greatest dreams is to be a published author. I suppose that technically, I already am one; a short piece I wrote in the 3rd grade which showed an "advanced use of adverbs" was published in some education publication (though I personally never saw a copy). But being published without your knowledge or consent doesn't really count, I think,and anyway, what I really have in mind is a book. I read a lot of non-fiction, mostly essays and narratives and such, and I think that would be what I'm best at writing. I've tried to write fiction, but see item #3 for my reason why that has never panned out.

Some of my favorite books to read are travel narratives. They're almost always interesting, and through the power of imagination, I can pretend that I am actually there, when, in fact, I am not only not there, I don't even have the brass to buy the book that contains the narrative and have only borrowed it from the library. But for what I pay in my inevitable late fee, I can travel just about anywhere I wish, and that's cool. So, to hone my dream, I wish to be a published author of a travel narrative. Or several. But that requires cash. Which, see above, I don't really have.

5)If I had a million dollars, I'd... oh, this could be hard. Let's face facts: while this age-old question certainly is interesting, a million dollars ain't what it used to be. Sure, when I was 8, it seemed like I could buy the entire world with that kind of cash. But in these days of inflation, it can only go so far. So let's make it five million. With my trifling five million dollars, I'd:
Pay off my mortgage and all debts (Then, with the $12 or so that I've got left over, I'd:)
Buy out my parents' and brother's mortages, pay off all of their debts, and move them so that they'd live near me
Pay for my kids' schooling, as much as they want to pursue
Buy a really nice digital SLR and a Mac
Travel with the family, then write about it on my Mac (and of course, publish the pictures that I took of it with my nice camera)
Hire a maid
...and a landscaper and gardener
Never buy store-brand food again. I'd buy actual Ritz crackers and Chips Ahoy and EVERYTHING.

But I'm getting carried away.

6)I am ever-so-slightly obsessive compulsive. You'd never know it by looking at my house most days, but I am obsessed with things being a certain way. For instance, I will spend whole minutes adjusting my coffee table after I've vacuumed so that it's precisely parallel to the couch. I have a specific system for loading the dishwasher, and I can't even LOOK at it if Abe has loaded it (this does not happen very often). My dining room table must be prefectly centered with the windows it sits by--and I gauge this by the seam in the middle of the table.

I have grown more casual about the whole thing since having kids--I don't have the time to obsess like I used to. But please don't tease me with lines that are not parallel, because I might hurt somebody.

7)As evidenced by item #6, I am having a hard time thinking of interesting things about myself to tell you. (I mean, seriously, OCD is so passe.) What else is random and somewhat interesting? The pointer finger on my right hand is double-jointed? I'm left-handed, but only write and eat with my left hand? I can roll my tongue into a tube? The only person I could beat in a swimming race is a person without use of arms or legs, and even then, it'd be a close one?

Why, oh why, couldn't this have been "TAG! List 5 random facts about yourself"?

7)I am addicted to the VH1 show World Series of Pop Culture. I do pretty well in some categories, particularly ones about sitcoms or the gossip column. I blame Must-See TV and Us weekly for that. But I am HORRIBLE at the music categories, because I just don't listen to the radio very much at all. No, when I am in my car by myself, I chuck on a CD of someone I wish I could sing as well as, and I pretend that I do, at the top of my lungs. I particularly like Allison Krauss, Patty Griffin, that sort of thing. Ladies with a lot of feeling in their voices. So tonight, when one of the categories was about songs referring to the posterior, I was woefully sunk, as Allison Krauss and Patty Griffin do not sing many lyrics about luscious behinds.

And movies...another hit-and-miss category: I generally go for romantic comedies, though I do also like the Christopher Guest mockumentaries, so I suppose if there was a category about Waiting for Guffman, I'd do pretty well. And the topic of Friends. I'd do well at that, since it seems we watch Friends reruns at least once or twice a day.

Because I'm nothing if not sophisticated and well-rounded. :)

8)I am actually pretty introverted, though it probably seems all of this self-talk is to the contrary (but remember, it wasn't my idea). Yes, there are times when things seem safe enough for me to come out of my shell, and most of you would hesitate to call me introverted, because you are my friend, and when I'm with you, I'm anything but. But I really am one of those people who is recharged by alone time. I get very, very grumpy and horrible when I don't get enough time by myself, just to be silent. No music, no TV, no internet, just me in a room or a car, perhaps reading, and hopefully sipping a big vat of icy cherry Coke.

Which is what I'm going to do right now.

Now, who shall I tag next?