I don't want to be writing today. I really don't. It's 1:15, and while I already have dinner in the oven, have paid bills, sent important emails,made important phone calls, and have put away (some) laundry, I still haven't made it to the shower yet today. Ruby and Judah are napping, so in theory, this would be the perfect time for me to attend to such sensitive matters. But here's the thing: every time I see the link to "Blogger: Dashboard" staring at me from my Bookmarks list, I feel a little bit guilty. I cringe, because I know that Sherrie will probably mention I haven't posted in a while, and I will see her at choir practice tonight and try to dodge her. But she sits two seats away from me, so that's not really possible. And April (who hasn't blogged in eons, either) just left a comment that she'd blog when I did. So here I sit, in the blue recliner we just got from my aunt and haven't moved from the dining room yet, tapping away at my keyboard, entirely unsure of what I want to say.
It has been a while. Sherrie is right. In late October, my father-in-law had back surgery and also found out he has cancer, and not only did I get caught up in errand-running and helping out a bit at my in-laws', I got caught up in my own rehearsals for the Christmas program at church AND with drama rehearsals for the same program; celebrations for Thanksgiving; the actual Christmas program; Christmas decorating, shopping, celebrating, and what-have-you; and while I probably could have scraped together 10 minutes in there somewhere to whip out a post, I'm afraid I never felt I had enough emotional energy to do it. Or it could be that I'm just lazy; either one is a plausible explanation.
In the time I've been away from the blog, I've gained 6 pounds. I've vacuumed the floors a lot. I've done approximately 652 loads of laundry, and loaded and unloaded the dishwasher so many times, my head spins. I made 3 batches of gingerbread men for Charis' class to decorate (only to learn from Charis that they didn't even use mine because they were too big, despite the fact that the teacher had specifically requested "LARGE" Gingerbread men). I attended my daughter's first-ever Christmas concert at school; it was thankfully short, but half of the time was taken up by The Twelve Days of Christmas sung by 75 bored/distracted kindergartners. I've bundled Judah up to go outside a thousand times. I've also changed his sheets 25 times because they were wet. SOMEDAY we'll be past this stage. Either that, or we'll cut him off of liquids past 4 pm. Ruby's hair has been in ponytails twice, and we've swooned twice on account of her cuteness. She says "uh-oh" and "Night-night" and "bye-bye" along with her usual (albeit occasional) mama and dada. She follows instructions, nods when she agrees with things, and is still a wee peanut of a child. We got a Christmas tree, and the kids helped me decorate the bottom third. We went to see the Christmas lights in a nearby city. We celebrated Christmas a bunch of times with various sides of the family and even took a trip to Ohio where Abe and I got to go out (!!) with some friends of mine from high school. We got a new couch from my aunt. We moved the big kids into the Big Room, Ruby into the Small Room and into an actual crib, and Judah (at LONG LAST) into a Big Boy Bed. He had been napping in one for a year or so, but it's now official--no more climbing in and out of the crib for him. Now that's Ruby's prerogative. And in there, we've cuddled, read books, talked about the True Meaning of Christmas, eaten lots of sinfully delicious food (there's the 6 pounds for you), and watched White Christmas for the hundredth time.
So. The ice is now broken. Since I started this post, my in-laws stopped by on their way back from chemo, I tossed the Red Skin potatoes and carrots into the stew in the oven, and though I didn't get a shower, I did put on clothes. A shower will have to wait until after I pick Charis up from school, but at least I won't feel quite so guilty when I see that link anymore.